Of Lasts … and
Firsts
“This is the last time I will …”
“Do you
remember the last time we …”
“This
is our last day in …”
Some of our lasts are significant, but we can’t pinpoint the
moment those actions or occurrences became the last – we only know they were in
retrospect. I remember my babies crawling, and I remember their first steps,
but I don’t remember the day when they no longer crawled anywhere. I remember my
son’s imaginary friends who went everywhere with us. And then one day, I woke
up and realized they were no longer a daily or even weekly mention. When did
they go away? When was the last time he talked about these treasured “members”
of our family?
Maybe you’re like me; the lasts in your life take on an
importance that you know must be documented, or that are so seared in your
brain that they become a core memory. Here are just a few of the lasts that I
carry with me and refer to often:
- I remember the last conversation I had with my sister-in-law before her death. I was in Thailand and she was in Northwest Washington. We had an email conversation about next steps in caring for my parents. At the time, I had no idea it would be the last time we talked, and I wish I would have expressed my love for her in that email – but I didn’t know.
- I remember the last walk down the center aisle at my church as a single woman. I knew life would never be the same as I leaned on my dad’s arm and all eyes were upon me. I tried to savor every moment of that last time when it was just my dad and me, walking in the sanctuary.
- I remember the last day my daughter sat with her high school classmates and sang with her high school choir. I treasured every moment of her graduation day, knowing it would never be the same again around our house.
- I remember waking up to see my mom’s last two breaths on this earth.
This has been a year of lasts
for us. Beginning with Mom’s first day in heaven, I have experienced the last
time to see her on this side of eternity. I have attended my last Sunday
service at my beloved church in rural Hesston. I have driven out of Halstead
for the last time as a resident of more than 14 years. I have locked the doors
to my little house on Chestnut for the last time, bidding its safety and
security a fond farewell. Marty and I said goodbye to a single life (very
willingly!), experiencing the lasts of doing things “our own way.” And now, we
have experienced the last day in our De Soto home. For me, this last is not as
significant – I only lived in the house for 3 months. But for Marty, his last
day in De Soto marked the end of a 26-year journey of living, loving, and
raising a family in a house he and Joni built and a home they treasured. So, we
pause to remember the lasts.
The lasts are important. They
signify pivotal moments in our lives that represent change. We mark time by the
lasts. We set up “stones of remembrance” (Joshua 4:1-8) because they help us
recognize God’s goodness to us, even in the hard times of life. The lasts
remind us that “there is a time for everything” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). They remind
us to treasure those around us, and to absorb the wonder of God’s world more
keenly and with reverence. But the lasts also do one thing that nothing else
can do … they signify the firsts that follow. And firsts can be good, if we let
them be. Firsts can comfort us in our moments of lasts; firsts can excite us
for a new beginning; firsts can delight us with the realization of new skills
gained or new experiences attained. Firsts represent new things. And God calls
us to place our hope in the firsts: “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it
springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and
streams in the wasteland” (Isaiah 43:19).
What is better than a first? A
first time to watch the wonder of a child’s gaze when they discover something
new. A first time to experience a thrilling new piece of music. A first look at
your new baby. A first breath in heaven. When my mother said goodbye to 2023,
she woke up bright and early on January 1, 2024, with her first glimpse of
heaven. Even as I watched her last two breaths here, Mom took her first breath
in the arms of her Savior – how could I deny her that first just to hold onto
my lasts? And although our lasts are often deeply embedded in our memories,
they can be enhanced by the firsts that come along after.
Today, we celebrate the first!
Today, we step inside our brand new home for the first time as its homeowners.
We will be the first to use the dishwasher, the first to cook on the stove, the
first to fill the house with the perfumed scent of candles, the first to sleep
in the safety of this home’s walls. I’ve never experienced a first like this –
a brand new home full of possibilities. It is a little bit like what I imagine
Mom felt when she heard, “Happy New Year, Miss Wanda,” and opened her eyes to
the beauty of heaven. Oh, I know our first day in our new home pales in
comparison to the first day in heaven, but the freshness, the possibilities,
the wonder that the old life is over and the new life has begun (2 Corinthians
5:17) are gifts we do not take for granted. We experienced the lasts – the good
moments and the sad moments – we will treasure the memories and remember the
lessons for the rest of our lives. But today – we rejoice in the firsts. We
rejoice that God has made all things new for us.
Welcome to our new home!
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From Lasts …  Happy to be HOME |
To Firsts …  Our Door is ALWAYS Open |
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